The Mule

I hold my baby every time she cries...just for comfort. I know she isn't really hungry, but I let her come close and nurse anyway...just for comfort. As she falls asleep, I'm always there; singing, rocking, nursing...just for comfort. And most nights, she sleeps in my bed...just for comfort. By day, I notice her, noticing the world, and if she looks lost or confused, I pick her up...just for comfort. I let her move away, branch out, explore, until she falls, or hesitates, or looks to me, and then I offer her my arms...just for comfort. When she's scared, or sad, or cross, or lost, I try to understand, to be there...just for comfort. And any time she wants to snuggle, day or night, I stop everything else and hold her...just for comfort. --- I write...just for comfort. I paint, I dance, I sing...just for comfort. I take a book, light a lamp, and get cosy...just for comfort. I laugh with friends...just for comfort. I walk, I run, I dream, I plan, I travel...just ...

Life is tough: for everyone there are trials and sorrows, disappointments and heartbreaks. From a mental health perspective, the world loosely divides itself into two camps - those who cope, and those who don't. And as scary as it might be to contemplate, this coping ability or inability is pretty much entirely shaped by nurture - by our actions as parents. It's simple: the way that we respond to our child when they are in a state of distress will become the way that they respond to their own distress as they grow into young people and adults. If we distance ourselves from their difficult emotions, they will learn to distance themselves too. If we respond with anger or tension, they will feel anger and tension too in life's harder moments. If we placate or 'medicate' our upset children with sugar or TV, they will learn to do the same for themselves as adults. And if we cannot tolerate their distress, we will teach them that distress itself is intolerable and must ...