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A Small Room of One's Own

Men's Pooing Time is Sacred,
A Hole-y Mystery,
It all takes place behind closed doors,
Where no one else can see.

They set off with their paper,
Or book, or magazine,
And then for twenty minutes,
They're nowhere to be seen.

I don't know what they do in there,
Or why it takes so long,
But certainly there seems to be
An injustice, and a wrong.

For though there's great variety,
In the work us mothers do,
One thing is universal -
We don't get time to poo.

We wash, we wipe, we feed, we love,
We pick up toys, we cuddle,
And somehow our most basic needs
Get lost amidst the juggle.

We sometimes make a dash for it,
If we feel in desperate need,
But with children hanging off each leg
There's not much time to read.

Our menfolk have maintained their right
To defecate alone,
Now we need a Revolution
For a Small Room of our Own.

We've campaigned for equality
At work and in our pay
So now let's fight for
Twenty Minutes Pooing Time Each Day

Women of Britain, let's have a Sit In
And chant, with furrowed brow:
What do we want? Pooing Time!
When do we want it? Now!


  1. Brilliant! And I thought it was just me who struggles through the day in a constant state of mild discomfort! You have summed it up beautifully..

  2. From a males point of view, this is hilarious!

    Please have a look at my blog, it's in the early stages at the moment:

  3. hi reza
    glad you found it funny! i wonder what stay at home dads do...have you kept your rights?!
    your blog is very sweet. good luck with it!

  4. This is simply brilliant :-) xxx

  5. Very funny!! I notice you are also focusing on birth stories. Feel free to borrow mine. 3 home births with indy midwife. They are on my blog.

  6. thank you! i may well do that! x

  7. HA HA!
    That is so funny and true. I am always telling them, "IT'S A BATHROOM, NOT A LIBRARY!!" but even before I was a mum I never felt the need to spend more time than I needed to in there. I went in, did my business, washed my hands and left! Men spend forever in there! I don't know about any of you but I would find it really awkward reading a book with a turd hanging out of my butt :S I would need to wipe and flush and put my trousers back on and if I were going to sit bck down with my trousers on, put the toilet lid down...just too weird! LOL x

  8. ha ha, v true, but to be honest i wouldn't mind what bodily function i was in the middle of, so long as i could just sit and read without interruption!

  9. I always read. I can't go otherwise. I have a special loo book on the go at all times. Poetry or short stories or essays, usually. All I would like is to poo without someone dropping toys down my trousers.

    1. Your comment really made me snort with laughter Clare, what a great image! x


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